Tomorrow
Silence of midnight was all I could hear. Sitting on the station, I was the only person not home at that hour. Even the animals had left the roads and were in their nests. But me, I was still sitting in the dark station.
For an old man of 77 it is so hard to sit somewhere in the darkness for a car to pass by and give him a ride. But I was used to it.
Tonight was 27th birthday. 27 long years, every night, I would wait here for a car to pass by and give me a ride. But none passed and so, I went toward my car. A Bentley Cantonal GP, costing more than 400,000 dollars. I have thousands of cars, but these ones; they would remind me of something. I always ride a Bentley for my nightly waiting. I starts engine and headed home.
Again none, nothing, no one...
No one is at my home. I could have as many houses in the world as I want. It doesn’t matter where or how big. I can buy it, because I am the richest man in the world, but… but no one is in my home. No matter where it is located.
I open one of my houses doors and go inside.
I go toward TV. I look at it, but I won’t turn it on. It has nothing left in it. No NEWS, no movies, no… nothing. It is not much different when it is on.
What will happen tonight? No one can guess. Tonight is Christmas, but no one had sent me a card. What is the difference between Christmas and other nights if you don’t have somebody to celebrate it with? To congratulate it to? To be happy with? No… there is no difference. So nothing happens tonight.
I go into the bed room which I had searched for, for 5 minutes and I climb the bed and I lay on it.
I have the next day to wait for a car to pass by and give me a lift. I have the next day to meet someone to share my wealth with. To share my cars with. To share my houses with.
One to tell me I am not the only living human in the earth…
M. Kamkar
به تو می اندیشم هنوز
بوییدمت
بوسیدمت
بعد فهمیدم که نبودی!!!
من به تو اندیشیدم
به تو
“توهمی از بودن”
و تو آمدی
و چه ساده گفتی
"تو توهمی نه من"
میلاد کامکار
I call…
Pass…
Threw…
And then all my money was gone.
I came out of the casino and thought for a moment. I felt nothing. I had nothing to deal with now and so I had no feeling. Like you know, the feeling starts at the moment when you want to have something and now that I had lost all my things I had no feeling. I was no more.
I lit a cigarette and drop the burnt match-stick on the ground. Inhaled the first amount of smoke and closed my eyes for a second. I went to the parking lot for my car, but it wasn’t there. Maybe some asshole had stolen it! I looked at its empty place. I could hear my breath, but no feeling again. My left ear was itching. So I put my left hand's point finger inside it and scrape it. I looked at the car's empty place once more and walked toward the parking's door.
I walked like I had no intention or destination, but my habits led me toward my home. The lights are gone. Delayed tax. Rooms are as empty as hell. Hum. I sold everything.
I looked the watch. It was 3 am. I turned around. What else I had in my home? No better to make it house. My house?
Nothing. So why to feel sorry for?
I sleep.
Goodnight.
Milad Kamkar